Understanding What Happens in a Psychotherapy Session
Many people wonder what it is like to be in a psychotherapy session. Even if you know what psychotherapy is, it can still be difficult to describe a session. It might be hard to explain what it feels like to experience a psychotherapy session. This post describes what happens in a psychotherapy session.
Why is it hard to describe a psychotherapy session?
Psychotherapy is such a personal experience that its inherent subjectivity renders objective descriptions somewhat wanting. Additionally, no one really writes or talks about what literally happens or is talked about in psychotherapy. This is because your privacy and confidentiality are of paramount importance in psychotherapy. These factors make it hard to describe a psychotherapy session. At the same time, getting some sense of what to expect in a session is important.
So what happens in a psychotherapy session?
To understand this, let’s look at an ‘as if’ description rather than an ‘actual’ description of a psychotherapy session. A psychotherapy session might look like a couple of people having a yarn, or ‘just talking.’ Yet, it is far from ‘just talking’.
As we are reminded by the surrealist painting ‘The treachery of Images’, a thing is not quite its description. The image of a pipe is not the pipe itself. If you were to take it further, the image of the pipe is not the experience of using the pipe. The image is just a representation of the object.
Similarly, what a psychotherapy session appears to be is quite different from what it is. That is further different from what is experienced in it.
A psychotherapy session appears to be two (or at times more) people sitting with each other and just talking. What is actually happening in a psychotherapy session, is that one (or more people) are sitting with a psychologist. They are talking and thinking together about their lives in a deep and meaningful manner.
What happens in a psychotherapy session?
To understand this, lets imagine a leak on the ceiling of a room. We might have one of several ways to action it.
- First, we might do nothing. This will very likely not make the problem go away.
- Second, we might paint over the leak. This will likely be a cosmetic, temporary fix.
- Third, we might have someone cut open that part of the jib (or plasterboard). Then, they will replace the piece, plaster it, sand it and paint it. This will be a more intensive fix, but still likely to be temporary.
- Finally, we might open up the plasterboard. We can follow the leak by following the water damage. This will help us locate the source of the leak. We might find that there is a dripping pipe. Alternatively, there could be a clogged roof gully that shifts rainwater under the roof tiles. We can then fix the issue itself followed by the damage it has caused. We can then follow that by fixing the plasterboard, sanding it and painting it to finish the job. This is likely to fix the issue more resolutely.
Of course, as ceiling leaks go, there might be another one a few years later. But we won’t go into that!
So the process of talking in psychotherapy is like the process of following the leaks. Thinking together is like locating the leaks. The leaks themselves might be substance use, aggression, abuse, anxiety, depression, sexual difficulties, work struggles or academic difficulties. The water damage would be the impact on emotional regulation, relationships, and functioning. These leaks might look different for different people.
Following the leaks is the process of a psychologist and you curiously pursuing the narrative of your life. It would involve wondering together about the sources of your struggles and their trajectory across your lifetime. We would also consider what is affected in your inner world as a result of these struggles.
How does this type of talking help you?
In a psychotherapy session, we follow the narrative of your life in a deep and meaningful manner. When this is done with kindness and attunement, you experience psychological safety. This allows us to become conscious of parts of your inner world that were out of your awareness.
When the unconscious becomes conscious (Jung), you gain creative agency (or choice) in your life. This facilitates a series of subsequent improvements in your efforts to cope with your struggles.
Main takeaways from this post:
- A psychotherapy session is deeply subjective and your experience of it is unique.
- To experience change, you need to become truly vulnerable about your struggles.
- To become vulnerable requires an experience of psychological safety. Your psychologist must curate this space for you.
- When we think about your inner world together, our awareness increases and the unconscious becomes conscious.
- With increased consciousness comes creative choices in shaping our lives.
The song Square one by Coldplay’s Chris Martin, is most eloquent about the nuances of a psychotherapy session.
You’re in control, is there anywhere you wanna go? …You’re in control, is there anything you wanna know? … The future’s for discovering … The space in which we’re traveling … From the top of the first page … To the end of the last day … From the start in your own way … You just want somebody listening to what you say …
Please note: Confidentiality and privacy are most important in psychological therapy. To ensure privacy, comments have not been enabled on this blog. We would love comments at admin@keapsychology.co.nz and will respond to them within 24-48 hours.
If you would like to schedule an appointment with one of our practitioners, please reach us at referrals@keapsychology.co.nz.
Kea Psychology is not a crisis intervention service. Please contact emergency services (dial 111) if you are concerned for your own or any other person’s immediate safety. Additional crisis services are listed at http://www.mentalhealth.org.nz/get-help/in-crisis/